In March of this year I gave my notice my employer that I would not be returning as principal next year.  I did this despite not having any job lined up and in the midst of an unemployment rate that was 12.6% in the state of Michigan.  A year ago I wouldn’t have dared to do such a thing.  Most people that learn I don’t have a new job lined up ask me if I’m nuts.  I probably would have agreed with them last year.  I have a family and a new house and I need to provide for them.  Its kind of hard to do that when you’re unemployed.  But its even harder to do so if you’re dead.   And this job was killing me.  I had to say “Enough is Enough.”

I am the principal of a Catholic School.  In case you don’t know about the hierarchy of the Catholic Church the priest is the ultimate authority within his parish.  This includes within a parish school.  Unfortunately, most priests do not have backgrounds in education, management, or finance.  In my case this proved disastrous for me and dangerous for my students.  The priest within my school wants absolute control over every aspect of his parish.  He and I have gone head to head over opposing views, usually I lost as he as the ability to fire me if he so chooses.  Things came to a head though when I stood my ground on a safety issue.  I went around his authority to assure that my students would not be exposed to black mold and asbestos.  I was able to get an environmetal scrub of the classroom that had both issues, but he didn’t take well to losing a power struggle.  He placed me on probation and threatened my position for the next year.

As a result, I cowered.  I have a family to support and I didn’t want them to suffer.  I became obsequious and deferred all decisions, important and non-important to him so that he would be appeased.  The school broke a couple of laws as a result.  I documented that it was by his authority, just in case they were discovered.  I lived in fear and my health really began to decline.  I ballooned up to 278 pounds.  I was in and out of the hospital for anxiety attacks, GERD, an ulcer, chostrochondritis.  Doctors were prescribing me Xanax, Cymbalta, Prilsosec and Zoloft.  I spent many nights in the ER and many more nights lying on the floor thinking I was having a heart attack.  I was terrified that I would die and at the same time I was so tired of being afraid that I was ready to die.

I started to look for other jobs, while still remaining a reluctant sycophant at work.  I was miserable.  The job market in Michigan was terrible before the recession began and it wasn’t looking any better.  Then in March of this year I could stand it no longer.  I was tired of living in fear and I was tired of visiting the hospital.  I started examing worse case scenarios.  If I stayed, there was a good chance that the stress was going to kill me.  If I left, there was a chance that I wouldn’t find a job that equalled my current level of pay and I would lose my house.  Then I asked what would happen in these two scenarios.  In the first scenario, my son would grow up without a father and I would miss out on sharing his experiences.  In the second scenario, we would lose the house, but I could easily find a job that pays less and rent a house elsewhere.  My family would get by and I would still be there to see my son grow up.  Of the two scenarios the latter was much more desireable.

I wasn’t completely convinced to leave my job yet.  It wasn’t until I examined what I most wanted out of life.  I have had a long standing desire to write and a much more recent and driving desire to be a stay at home father.  I realized I could do both if I became a professional blogger.  I carried the idea around for a while and researched blogging more until I was convinced that it was possible for me to replace my income through blogging.

Then I had one more incident with the pastor when I got in trouble for following his orders.  I resolved that night that I was done.  I told my wife I would not return to the job next year.  She supported my decision and I gave my notice to the board.  That was just over a month ago.

Within a week of giving notice, I started noticing the benefits of my decision.  The stress was gone because the priest no longer had power over me.  He couldn’t threaten me.  When my stress abated, I was able to start focusing on my health.  I had done some research into the paleo lifestyle previously and I was ready to make the change.  I mentally prepared myself for the transition and set a start date for two days after Easter.  On April 14th I started the paleo life and I have lost 20 pounds these past 30 days.  I am out walking barefoot and I’ve noticed that I am frequently out running, jumping, and playing.  I do so for only very short bursts as exercise used to trigger anxiety attacks.  I haven’t taken Xanax in nearly a month and I’m almost ready to go off of all medication.  I feel more energetic.  Compared to where I was six weeks ago, I feel great.  I have a long way to go, but I can tell a diference already.